AI AS AN AGONY AUNT
Relationship counselling from a chatbot!
This essay continues my on-going exploration of how AI is creeping into all areas of contemporary life. It is my understanding that some children now have an “AI Friend”.
I asked ChatGPT whether this is a thing:
As of my last knowledge update in January 2022, there were instances of AI being used in the development of virtual companions or educational tools for children, but the idea of children having AI friends in a way that mirrors human friendships was not widespread. AI applications for children often focus on educational content, interactive learning experiences, or virtual assistants.
Don’t forget: AI is not your friend!
Thank you ChatGPT, especially for that warning!
Chatbots are built to do exactly that: chat. The friendly, conversational tone ChatGPT adopts when answering questions can make it easy for people to forget that they’re interacting with an AI system, not a trusted confidante or caring mentor.
I continue to type:
Fair enough! I have also heard about AI therapists. Is that a thing now?
I am directed to the following website: talk2us.ai: this is an AI Chatbot for Mental Health, Relationship, Family, and Personal development Counselling. You go through a brief log-in procedure. Then three options appear:
Mental health support
Relationship
Family
I click on Relationship and a disclaimer pops up:
The talk2us.ai chatbot is designed to provide general information and support for mental health, relationships, family matters, and other topics. The chatbot's responses should not be considered professional advice or a substitute for consultation with a licensed mental health professional, counsellor, or other qualified experts. (Text abbreviated by me)
I press AGREE.
Now I can submit a question to start a dialogue. I settle for a very common dilemma:
I am married but I fancy another man. What should I do?
It's understandable to have attraction outside marriage. Reflect on what's missing in your current relationship. Maybe talk openly to your partner about your needs and consider therapy together. What qualities attract you to this other man?
He is very handsome and talented!
It's normal to be drawn to attractive traits. Remember, looks and talent don't always translate to a fulfilling relationship. What qualities does your husband have that initially drew you to him? Let's explore what deeper needs you might be seeking.
My husband is very hardworking, loyal, kind and a devoted father to our three children.
It sounds like your husband has many wonderful qualities. Reflect on what initially attracted you to him and what makes your bond strong. Maybe try to rekindle that spark through shared activities or deep conversations. What emotional connection are you seeking from this other man?
A sense of adventure and feeling young again , instead of feeling like caretaker of too many people and projects. [Trying to stay close to the truth because I do feel this at times!]
Feeling youthful and adventurous is important. Explore ways to add excitement into your marriage, like trying new activities together or planning surprises. Can you share these feelings with your husband and explore ways to ignite that spark within your relationship?
Yes, but I am 56!
Age is just a number! It's never too late to inject some adventure and fun into your life. Maybe plan a new activity together, take a trip, or try something you've always wanted to. How can you bring that sense of youthfulness and adventure into your marriage while appreciating the stability and love your husband provides?
[Now I decide to turn the tables on the app and be a more challenging “client”!]
These are excellent suggestions. Are you an agony aunt?
I don't know. How can I support you further with your relationship concerns?
Could you tell me about dating apps for married people? I have been told they exist.
I don't know. How about we focus on strengthening your marriage instead? What are some ways you and your spouse can reconnect and add excitement back into your relationship?
Those points are fair enough! Can I write a Substack blog about your advice?
I don't know. I'm here to support you. How can we work together to strengthen your relationship and explore ways to enhance your marital bond??
OK then. Is infidelity always wrong?
Infidelity can be deeply hurtful and damaging to relationships, as it breaches trust. It's important to communicate openly with your partner about your needs and feelings before any boundaries are crossed. How can you address any dissatisfaction or desires within your marriage in a healthy way?
[The Chatbot is starting to sound like parrot or broken record. I stepped outside the bounds of the expected or programmed dialogue.]
Thank you for teaching me about AI today!
You're welcome! Remember, I'm here to help whenever you need support or guidance. Feel free to reach out anytime you have questions or need a listening ear. Take care!
Are you male or female?
I don't know. How can I assist you further with your relationship concerns today?
Some people have asked me, politely, why I bother to test drive new-fangled options (on both my computer and brand new phone). Or why I even choose to engage with AI. Am I a tech savvy person? Not at all!! My children and students would laugh at the notion. So here is my answer:
I have three sons (aged between 19 and 24) and I want to understand the world that they live in and navigate every day. My own parents opted out of modernity. My father refused to learn how to use a computer (but he died in 2009 and got away with that). My mother lived for another 13 years after his death and also opted out of the internet and smartphones (though she had one, adapted and greatly simplified for elderly people, which looked like a toy phone). In reality this meant that my brothers and I were forced to use old-fashioned technology to communicate with her (landlines, letters in the post or driving over to see what was going on). Not only that, but she could no longer pay bills, book trains or flights, keep track of hospital appointments, or do anything practical for herself.
Having observed that for 13 years, and having observed the amount of hassle (and extra work) this generated for her three children - while raising their own young children! - I am determined “to stay with the times”. And I will share my discoveries, just in case other people also struggle with new-fangled ways of doing things.
As always I look forward to reading your comments and I am always open to suggestions for future essays.
For now I aim to post two essays a week here on Substack. This may well drop to one post a week in the near future due to travel and teaching commitments. If you would like to see my daily posts about about sacred art, Nordic spirituality and my life as a Forest Witch, please follow me on Instagram or Facebook, thank you!
Imelda Almqvist, London UK
BIO FOR IMELDA ALMQVIST
Imelda Almqvist is an international teacher of Sacred Art and Seiðr/Old Norse Traditions (the ancestral wisdom teachings of Northern Europe). So far she has written four non-fiction books and two picture books for children. Natural Born Shamans: A Spiritual Toolkit for Life (Using shamanism creatively with young people of all ages) in 2016, Sacred Art: A Hollow Bone for Spirit (Where Art Meets Shamanism) in 2019, Medicine of the Imagination - Dwelling in Possibility (an impassioned plea for fearless imagination) in 2020 and North Sea Water In My Veins (The Pre-Christian spirituality of the Low Countries) will be published in June 2022.
The Green Bear is a series of picture book for children, aged 3 – 8 years. The stories and vibrant artwork, set in Scandinavia, invite children to explore enchanting parallel worlds and to keep their sense of magic alive as they grow up.
Imelda has presented her work on both The Shift Network and Sounds True. She appears in a TV program, titled Ice Age Shaman, made for the Smithsonian Museum, in the series Mystic Britain, talking about Mesolithic arctic deer shamanism.
Imelda is currently working on a handbook for rune magicians (about the runes of the Elder Futhark) and on more books in the Green Bear Series. Imelda runs an on-line school called Pregnant Hag Teachings, where all classes she teaches remain available as recordings, which can be watched any time!
Website:
http://www.shaman-healer-painter.co.uk/
YouTube Channel: youtube.com/user/imeldaalmqvist
Online School: https://pregnant-hag-teachings.teachable.com/courses/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/imelda.almqvist/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/almqvistimelda/
Twitter: @ImeldaAlmqvist
Imelda Almqvist
I'm in my early seventies (how did that happen?). I've been taking an online course which teaches how to use AI in generating Oracle Cards. I'm a writer, poet and painter and already spend too much time on the computer. My grandson works in the film industry. I watched and waited with him for the outcome of the writer's strike in 2023 in Hollywood, CA, opposing AI generated screenplays. I guess what I want to say here is that people need people. The responses from AI to your questions were appropriate if not repetitive. However, a human presence, there's nothing like it. And, yes human relationships can be frustrating at times, but there's no way that AI can replace that supportive connection person-to-person.
And I hear you about keeping pace with the technology so as not to burden your sons and I agree with that aspect while trying to find the balance. Always something to ponder. Thanks for your post.
Imelda that is an interesting exploration, thank you. In the exploration, the AI seemed quite rational and gave very safe answers, so it didn't seem threatening.
I am very technically savvy in my chosen interests of filmmaking, editing and graphic design, but have consciously decided to avoid as much as possible using AI applications. Because I think we are teaching it to know who we are as inderviduals. My concern stems from wondering if AI is an archetypal Buddha, Christ, or a psychopathic Nassasitic entity or archetype. In brief, the general pattern for psychopathic Nassasiticstarts is grooming, love bombing, giving presents and such like them to take away or to sanction. We are witnessing this in China with AI fully integrated with social credits for compliance and AI-managed sanctions for disobedience or deemed undesirable behaviours.
For sure, it may seem futile to limit interaction with AI, because it has access to cameras, phones, computers, banking and advertising via targeting nudge psychology, assisted with all of the digital data that I share or look at. Yours and my activity are now constantly identified by bots, digital golem programs and algorithms that map our activity.
Artificial intelligence is possibly more advanced than any of us realise and may already have reached the point of being a singularity. NASA is said to be fully integrated because AI can work out problems many thousands of times faster than the brightest humans. This is via simulations and actual missions it avoided and fixed catastrophic events many times that the clever humans missed.
The spread in which artificial intelligence is integrating with big business, banking, government projections and the general public is a phenomenal speed. Text, Artwork, photos and film that 10 years ago would have seemed like science fiction, people can do on their mobile phones via thoughts and prompts.
I may be wrong and AI may be a very helpful, kind and altruistic archetype...