I have a 14 year old daughter that does not want us parents to be seen with her on the school yard. Because that is just too embarrassing for her. Well, that does not surprise us parents at all. 14 years old are just 14 years old, and then parents usually just are embarrasing in public, that is just a fact. But then I asked: "How unconventional am I, really?" Thinking she actually may have a reason to feel embarrassed. She answered: "Extremely unconventional!"
I then asked in what way. I was really curious now, but also braced myself: how weird am I, really?
Her answer came with emphasis: "You want me to be ME! And you are the only person I have met that wants that. And none of my friends have parents like that either. So you are very, very unconventional!"
No, you are right, I do not want to be her, I guess what she said would be something like "You want me to truly be myself" but I wrote in Swenglish as this conversation was in Swedish. She said " Du vill att jag ska vara JAG" and that is perhaps not fully correct Swedish either, in written language, but works ok when talking.
I am very used of having my language corrected, as I think in pictures and my brain appears to believe words are something that just slow things down. My husband and oldest daughter are word-persons and usually let me know when my brain scramble letters and words. My oldest daughter has autism diagnosis and she corrected my grammar already when she was three years old. I guess my grammar has proven to be quite incorrectible by now! :)
I actively try not to correct other people's language (as there is a Dutch schoolmarm in me, a dreadful shadow aspect and my husband really doesn't like her!!) but sometimes clarification is needed for clear communication.
It sounds like your daughter might have said in English: you want me to be my true self, or authentic self. And that is the absolutely best thing a mother can want for her child! X
Another wonderful essay; entertaining and thought provoking (whether you meant it to be or not 😅). It makes me sad that I (and other children in our culture) had and form of attunement trained OUT of them. I think how much further I’d be along my path if my ‘daydreaming’ had been encouraged and tutored rather than stopped!
Indeed, the whole point was to encourage them to roll with this and keep their sense of magic alive. We never trampled on that and I learned much more from three Natural Born Shamans than I ever learned from my (for lack of a better word) shamanic teachers.
On a somewhat related topic, my publisher has reminded me that I have a book anniversary this month (Medicine of the Imagination). May I quote a line you wrote: I am just reading your medicine of the imagination book and my favourite phrase so far is …Nirvana is not a “high security prison”… as a practicing Buddhist, this is hilarious 😂. If you are OK with that I can do this using your full name, initials or even anonymously. You just gave me a wonderful promo item there, so I can't resist asking...
Happy anniversary! I’m nearly finished reading it and will def do a book review (and have recommended it to fellow practicing Buddhists!). Sure, you can use me as a quote. I’d rave about you all day 🙈😂
I have a 14 year old daughter that does not want us parents to be seen with her on the school yard. Because that is just too embarrassing for her. Well, that does not surprise us parents at all. 14 years old are just 14 years old, and then parents usually just are embarrasing in public, that is just a fact. But then I asked: "How unconventional am I, really?" Thinking she actually may have a reason to feel embarrassed. She answered: "Extremely unconventional!"
I then asked in what way. I was really curious now, but also braced myself: how weird am I, really?
Her answer came with emphasis: "You want me to be ME! And you are the only person I have met that wants that. And none of my friends have parents like that either. So you are very, very unconventional!"
Then she gave me a hug.
Aw!
But is it true, do you want to BE her?
The hug says it all.
And there is nothing wrong with being very VERY unconventional! X
No, you are right, I do not want to be her, I guess what she said would be something like "You want me to truly be myself" but I wrote in Swenglish as this conversation was in Swedish. She said " Du vill att jag ska vara JAG" and that is perhaps not fully correct Swedish either, in written language, but works ok when talking.
I am very used of having my language corrected, as I think in pictures and my brain appears to believe words are something that just slow things down. My husband and oldest daughter are word-persons and usually let me know when my brain scramble letters and words. My oldest daughter has autism diagnosis and she corrected my grammar already when she was three years old. I guess my grammar has proven to be quite incorrectible by now! :)
I actively try not to correct other people's language (as there is a Dutch schoolmarm in me, a dreadful shadow aspect and my husband really doesn't like her!!) but sometimes clarification is needed for clear communication.
It sounds like your daughter might have said in English: you want me to be my true self, or authentic self. And that is the absolutely best thing a mother can want for her child! X
Yes, exactly! Thank you!
Another wonderful essay; entertaining and thought provoking (whether you meant it to be or not 😅). It makes me sad that I (and other children in our culture) had and form of attunement trained OUT of them. I think how much further I’d be along my path if my ‘daydreaming’ had been encouraged and tutored rather than stopped!
Indeed, the whole point was to encourage them to roll with this and keep their sense of magic alive. We never trampled on that and I learned much more from three Natural Born Shamans than I ever learned from my (for lack of a better word) shamanic teachers.
On a somewhat related topic, my publisher has reminded me that I have a book anniversary this month (Medicine of the Imagination). May I quote a line you wrote: I am just reading your medicine of the imagination book and my favourite phrase so far is …Nirvana is not a “high security prison”… as a practicing Buddhist, this is hilarious 😂. If you are OK with that I can do this using your full name, initials or even anonymously. You just gave me a wonderful promo item there, so I can't resist asking...
Happy anniversary! I’m nearly finished reading it and will def do a book review (and have recommended it to fellow practicing Buddhists!). Sure, you can use me as a quote. I’d rave about you all day 🙈😂
I will get that out in the next few days! Rave away! : )))