THE THINGS I WILL TAKE TO MY GRAVE

An essay about my own death

I feel very strongly that Western society needs more people who model an active and committed (do I dare say positive?) relationship with Death. I am not alone in this. I know many other women who do Death Doula work or run and participate in Death Cafes, a movement that encourages people to hang out, drink tea, eat cake and talk about death (as a normal and inevitable part of life).

Today’s essay is about my own death. I want to show you all a painting that I completed earlier this year. It is based on a hypnagogic vision (a vision or strong image that occurs as you start falling asleep). The opposite thing is a hypnopompic vision (which appears as you start awakening from sleep).

In interviews and other essays, here on Substack, I often talk about visiting the moment of my death as a daily spiritual practice.

I have long held the belief that people often die in a way that balances (or compensates for) something they did not receive (enough of) in life. One teaching from Christianity (the cosmology of my childhood) was that “Death is the Ultimate Healing”, because in the moment of death a soul transitions to “eternal life with God in Heaven”. Christianity is not my religion of choice today and and this is not what I meant with my statement. In a previous essay I did explain (in detail) what I mean by this:

DEATH AS THE ULTIMATE HEALER

I would like my death to be a celebration of a life well-lived, completed consciously, with gratitude and acceptance. I am fascinated by photographs of graves. (Here I mean pictures by archaeologists who have opened graves and made an inventory of the position of the body and grave goods etc.) I hasten to add that, professionally speaking (as a shamanic teacher), I hold the opinion that one should never open a grave (however ancient) without doing some serious shamanic work to prepare, explain, seek permission etc. But… as a teacher and artist I am grateful for what we have learned from graves.

In one of my daily practices (meditating on the moment of my own death) I asked myself: what would I like an archaeologist in the (far) future to find if they opened my grave? The painting, at the top of this essay, is the answer.

I would like to wear the star constellations cloak made by Lyn Hill of Sacred Awakenings, which was placed in my arms, guided by spirit, at my Forest School in Sweden. (The stars on the cloak glow in the dark!)

I would like to rest on the swan wings gifted to me by a swan, found on an uninhabited island in the archipelago on our doorstep. Amazingly I happened to be wearing my star constellation cloak the day I found her, you can see both the swan and cloak in the picture below:

Sometimes I already practice for this big moment, the grand finale, in the snow:

I would like to have the Spirit of Bear with me in the form of a bear skull gifted to me (in the US), but of course she herself will get the final choice about that. (I will never forget flying across the Atlantic Ocean with her in my suitcase and seeing Ursa Major from my window seat. So I called her Ursa Major!)

I would also like to bring the two swan bone flutes made for me by the artist Paul Bloomer. They were made from the “upper arm” (humerus) bones of the swan I am holding in the photograph (with the swan skeleton) and I went all the way to Shetland to collect them in person.

My swan bone flute

Beyond those objects: maybe my set of runes, made from the wood of a juniper struck by lightning, (but more likely I will gift my rune pouch to one of my sons, or another young rune magician, when my time comes). The same thing goes for my other sacred objects. I hope that my children will take a few of the most precious ones and that my (younger) students will take an item too. I am well aware that dealing with other people’s sacred objects can be an immense burden on others. Alternatively, what often happens (in reality) is that relatives clearing a house do not even realise that these things are sacred objects and drive those items to the local dump! Obviously neither outcome is ideal.

I have long had the vision of an archive or library of sacred objects (and maybe research and teaching notes) donated by spirit workers (or shamans, for those who prefer that word). The key concept here is that young (or beginning practitioners) are granted the opportunity to pick out a drum, cloak, piece of art, rattle or sistrum (and so forth) and become the sacred user and keeper of it until their own death. That would promote a sense of continuity and lineage that spirit workers in the Western world feel only rarely, (because we operate in a secular and fragmented world, a world that does not look after its spirit workers, especially in old age, when they cannot teach or host ceremonies any longer).

Of course someone would have to manage this (and also store all the objects); just that fact may well mean my vision never becomes reality. However, if it did, teachers could also donate teaching videos, unpublished writing and other content (perhaps even some money in their will to cover the time and storage required) to such a project, supporting those continuing spirit work in general (and their own work specifically) in the future. I think that it is worth floating the idea, but I have little expectation of it becoming reality.

I try (but sometimes fail) to get out at least one essay a week (sometimes more), due to travel, international teaching commitments and family care responsibilities (our family lives with Alzheimer’s and I have written several posts about that). If you would like to see regular posts about about Nordic spirituality and my life as a Forest Witch (and of course short videos of all the wildlife here!), please follow me on Instagram or Facebook, thank you!

Imelda Almqvist, Forest House and Forest School, Sweden

WILD WOMAN BIO

Imelda is happiest in the Far North (especially places where polar bears roam!) She was born in the Netherlands but Sweden and Greenland are the places her soul calls home. She loves playing her cello in the forest and her swan bone flute by the Baltic Sea. One of her more unusual spiritual practices is taking her skulls for a walk.

She has taught on nearly all continents (but is still waiting for invitations from Australia and Antarctica!) She has performed ceremonies with groups under the Dark Sky in Chaco Canyon (New Mexico), under the Northern Lights in Greenland and on grave mounds in Sweden. Her groups have spent time with rock art in Spain and been sent on pilgrimages in London and Switzerland. Imelda has also taught slum children in Lima (Peru) and worked in a field hospital in Bangladesh.

Imelda is obsessed with languages and dips in and out of 23 languages when she does research and writes her books. She likes reading dictionaries before she falls asleep.

Imelda is a Daughter of Baba Yaga. She is a Pregnant Hag, who roams the Forest at night and lives in a Gingerbread House by day. She writes a dream diary every morning, makes a daily painting (or drawing) and always writes a poem before she falls asleep. She recently took up wild swimming (and enjoyed swimming with wild swans!) but fell off a cliff because she is a little accident-prone. Imelda’s life is never boring!

Website:

http://www.shaman-healer-painter.co.uk/

YouTube Channel: youtube.com/user/imeldaalmqvist

Online School: https://pregnant-hag-teachings.teachable.com/courses/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/imelda.almqvist/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/almqvistimelda/